


Barbarian's Boss

by Audrey_Arber



Category: IPB, Ice Planet Barbarians Series - Ruby Dixon
Genre: F/M, Fantasy, Science Fiction & Fantasy, Sexual Fantasy, sci fi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-04
Updated: 2020-11-04
Packaged: 2021-03-06 03:13:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 11,894
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25716364
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Audrey_Arber/pseuds/Audrey_Arber
Summary: This story explores the paradox of simultaneous duality-a fancy way of saying what you see might not be exactly as to what is going on. Two mindsets, two bosses, two lovers, two khuis, two deaths, two revivals, two locations, two healers, two Resonances and two happy endings, tossed around with some naughty lovin,, becomes Barbarians Boss.  Triggers in this story will be scenes of manic and depressive episodes, misunderstandings of mental illness and self-harm.
Relationships: Romance - Relationship
Comments: 1
Kudos: 2





	1. Brittany

**Author's Note:**

> This story takes place in the Ice Planet Barbarians/Icehome universe created by Ruby Dixon. I have done my best to stay within the cannon, following timelines, characters, terms of languages etc., but it may not be perfect. Heck, even Ruby has admitted to some mistakes sometimes. I’m not selling this, so my only payments are messages from readers. In fact, I crave them. I am open to corrections as the story goes along, but be kind. This is not the platform to show off how knowledgeable you are about IBP/IH. I have not spent a lot of time describing back story on details common to the universe. I hope that Ruby's fans will already be familiar with the details. If not, I very much invite you to check out at least the first book by Ruby Dixon, "Ice Planet Barbarians", to get the background solid. I have included the following top explanations, just to get the uninitiated going. This story will include descriptions of mental illness. This is one depiction of one person's experience. This will not stand in for others' experiences. This story will have depictions of tough love to say the least. These are not to be taken as how to treat mental illness but rather how these characters in THIS time and place treat mental illness.  
> Glossary of some top terms:  
> Resonance is a natural impulse to mate with another fertile person on Not-Hoth. Not everyone gets to Resonate.  
> Resonance is caused when one symbiant khui recognizes another, perfectly matched khui and intense desire to have sex and claim one another occurs.  
> A Pleasure Mate is one of two people that have chosen to be mates, without Resonance.  
> A khui is a worm like symbiant that is necessary for all living creatures to have to live on Not-Hoth. Without it, the person/animal dies of an element in the air.  
> A sa-kohtsk is a large mammal type animal that has multiple khuis within its body, usually stored around the heart. This animal is what is usually hunted for the most amount of strong khuis to choose from.  
> sa-khui is the name of the people that inhabit Not-Hoth  
> Croatoan is the name of the sa-khui settlement. It is a series of stone rooms, carved from stone canyon walls and covered with tanned hides for roofs.

It looked like the Universe was gonna to give me a break. It certainly owed me one: a few even. I’m born to crappy parents who were way too young to be anyone’s parents-Universe Debt 1 owed to me. After Mom finally kicked out Dad, Mom, sister and I moved a lot making school a big challenge but I rise above, becoming a top high school arts and history student. I delay University so that I can work since I have no money for anything-Universe Debt 2 owed to me. I enter University later than most others but after graduating as a Theater major, I work my way onto small parts in TV crime shows and medical dramas-Universe Payback 1. I again, work hard, this time to keep myself appealing-eating Paleo, doing yoga, joining run clubs, dance lessons, voice lessons, masterclass acting workshops, the total acting Method. I pay my dues as a cast member of small touring companies and off-off Broadway plays. I had just been cast in a major production-I was going to New York and the Big White Way-Universe Payback 2.

I had worked non-stop for three summers in a row so I took a little vaycay in an AirBnB cottage, beautifully placed on the Muskoka River. It was perfect-quiet, removed and no cell phones, TV or computers. Imagine my surprise when little green men call a calln’ and took me on a new vacation-back to, Universe Debt owed to me. Thanks Universe for getting me kidnapped and sold to an alien brothel and then another, featuring the exotic Human creatures. It still became a stage of sorts, pretending to be turned on, acting like the best versions of ‘sexy brothel worker’ I could dream up, but certainly not, not, not ever in my wildest dreams the role I would want for me or anyone else.

One day, Kayla calls me to her hole of a room, and tells me her last client is involved with rescuing humans and that She can get us out of the brothel, out of the business and into a new life. That She can get us to a safe planet named Risda III, where we will be given land to farm and equipment to use, freedom to enjoy, all for free. I give Kayla a hard side-eye with the words “What-chew-talkn’-‘bout’-Willis” floating in my head. Three days later the client returns, a messakah female bounty hunter with three other males and just like in the movies, a diversion is created (lots of explosions, hand to hand fighting, man yells, girl screams), and five of us make it out-Universe payback. 

All talk of returning to Earth is quickly shut down as that place is completely off limits, so far away and to get to another ship that could make the trip would risk being discovered. With the Universe opening the door, I very much dive into the information provided on how to be a Risda III farmer. It’s just another role to prepare for and I need background. Turns out robots can do a lot of the heavy work. Crops are limited but I like the descriptions of a type of bean and corn-things which are listed in the ‘easy’ column. It’s that or meat-stock and since I’m allergic to just about every type of farm animal, I’m going to stick to veggies. 

Twenty-two days pass, and I cram everything I can about farming into my head. The five of us make a little classroom of sorts with study groups and plans to stay together when we arrive for the first few months, until we all get the hang of things. Being a bit older that the rest of the women, Kayla and I become fast friends and we decide to become 'roommates on the farm'. I joke that could be the title of some new reality TV show. Day twenty-three starts regular, us at school, the ship clicking along. Suddenly blips and bleeps start sounding, the ship is lurching, metal is screeching. A messakah voice yells from the intercom to get to the Emergency Pods and prepare to immediately get off the ship. We all hustle, someone helping Nicole, Erin waving encouragement, Kayla leading the way and me checking to make sure everyone is out. I just step into the pod space in time when the ship zooms forward, increasing the G-forces onto our bodies and making me grit my teeth. I only get a few seconds to see the other womens' faces are slack, as I too black out.  
I’m awakened by a faint beeping and pulsing light. It’s peaceful and quiet. Kayla and I make eye contact.  
“Are we floating?” I say but can’t hear.  
“Are we falling?” she says and I can’t hear.  
It turns out it’s both and is abruptly brought to a halt with the hard bump we land with. 

That was sixteen days ago. Instead of arriving on an Earth–like planet Risda III, we land on Not-Hoth.  
It certainly has not been an easy transition for many of the women-girls mostly-to get used to. All of our farming cram sessions are out the window since this new home is just like Led Zeppelin said-the Land of Ice and Snow-Universe debt owed to me. And all the time, while the others are freaking out about where is Risda III, where are the farms and the houses, where the hell is the dirt and trees, I having my own little freak-out. Risda III was going to be the perfect haven, saved from being a sex slave, with running water, machines, food, people that left us alone, wide open spaces and fresh air. And most importantly, it was modern enough that it was going to give me access to continue getting my meds to help control my BiPolar II illness. Not-Hoth is nice cave men with human mates and zero meds in sight-Universe drops the mic.


	2. Kaylar

Resonance. I had given up on the hope of it happening to me. With no more grown females to mate with and the younger ones years away, I knew it wasn’t going to happen. Then a sky-cave lands in the snow and females arrive. They are small and very helpless but I don’t care. With many females I have a chance to have Resonance and I can’t sleep, the hope is so painful. Then I don’t Resonate and nothing changes. Watching others have the joy that I want, that I need, I go hunting for many hands just to stay away from seeing them. Sometime my friend ter-Ekh comes along to cheer me up, making up hunting challenges to pass the time. It is a good decision because when I return I am better, calmer and happier for the others. Not happy, just happier.

ter-Ekh is not mated either, but he is not concerned with Resonance. He is a lucky Sa-khui. He always finds the animals to hunt and usually brings home the most meat. He is built strong and tall so bringing in a lot of meat at one time is easy. He is always on the sa-kohtsk hunt to get the khuis for the new kits and now new females, and we are grateful that he is there. He shares the best fishing spots with anyone but always catches the most. Myself and other hunters want to be angry at him for all his easy chances, but no one can be angry at ter-Ekh. He remembers everyone: bringing extra skins to be rubbed extra soft for the kits, extra fuel pucks to be stored for anyone’s needs, visiting the elders and serving them tea, taking spearheads and sharpening them secretly until you only notice when you are out on the hunt. He is calm and steady, all smiles and friends, which should make me more angry, but I just smile, shake my head at such a stupid thought and count myself lucky to have him as my great friend.

As I said, ter-Ekh is not concerned with Resonance. He didn’t rush forward when the females arrived the first time, or the second or the third… He was himself, friendly and the leader he always is in that easy way he has. I wished I could be more like ter-Ekh and be calm, waiting for Resonance to find me, but that is not my way. ter-Ekh has had pleasure in the furs with others though, of course he has, so that might be the reason I’m anxious. I thought about taking a female and forcing Resonance, but I couldn’t the first time, or the second time. I thought about it the third time but I snorted away the thought. The khui will chose, not me. I also could not be like ter-Ekh and be in the furs with someone, only to have them Resonate to someone else. He remains friends with both the female and the hunter and is a sought after teacher to their kits. I am possessive now to an imagined mate. I would not be friends with anyone who was in the furs with my real mate! But then, it’s ter-Ekh, so of course I would be.

And now, for a fourth time, females have arrived from the sky. I happen home from a hunt and see them in the houses at Croatoan. I become one of the males rushing forward to be near them. I take a breath and step forward, desperately hoping once again, to have Resonance.


	3. ter-Ekh

Resonance. I know it will happen to me one day. I know it will happen, because good things happen to me. With no more grown females to mate with, I admit I couldn’t figure out how I was going to mate with the females of our group, so young, and have to wait such a long time, but I knew it would happen. I have good luck. Then a sky-cave lands in the snow and females arrive. They are small and very helpless but I am interested in their pink skin, their five fingers and toes, their different mane colours and their big teats.  
I know Kaylar is anxious to Resonate. Each time new females arrive, you can see it on his face, the hope to find a mate. Each time, his eyes open wide, listening for the khui’s song, he looks amongst the females and each time his chest is silent. He goes on long hunts when he does not Resonate and I have gone with him a few times. I talk with him and make hunt challenges to distract his mind. He is always better when we return. Not best, but better.

Now for a fourth time, females have arrived. Two older and two younger humans, and one messakah female. It seems all were treated badly in other worlds and tried to escape to be far-mers but they have landed here instead. The messakah is angry all the time, so I stay away from her. Besides it’s the humans I am most interested in. I shared Maylak with Vektal many seasons ago and had some pleasures with some of the ‘before’ humans. I am looking forward to sharing furs again with one of these new humans. And I want to help Kaylar find a mate. I smile and shake my head as I can’t go on another hunt with him. I am all out of challenges.


	4. Brittany

I feel warm and I snuggle into my blankets. When was the last time I was warm? When was the last time I had my own blankets? Feelings of happy float up and I ride the wave to awakening. I open my eyes and I stare at a leather ceiling. Right, Not-Hoth. Aliens. Snow. Lots of snow. No medication.

I’m feeling pretty good even though the medications probably wore off a few days ago. I had some extra from being on the ship taking us to Risda III, and I stretched them out as long as I could but now I’ve definitely run out. I have a twitchiness today and I know what that means. But it’s low and I can probably keep things under control if I keep busy and try and stick to my routine. What my routine is here though, I’m not sure. I spent all my time on the ship preparing for farming not a hunter-gatherer on an ice planet. I’ll find something though. I’m good at figuring things out and finding my way with no path laid out. 

I get dressed in my furs as quietly as I can, letting Kayla sleep. We’ve now moved from roommates on the farm to roommates in the cave-its going to be a spin-off reality show. She stayed out late last night and by the looks of her hair well, let’s say it more than just tousled.

I head to the communal fire where Stacey, the unofficial camp cook, is busy over the fires and offers everyone breakfast. I enjoy the not-potato cakes but pass on the shrimp tea. I don’t need any stimulant right now and it sounds a bit weird. I’ll work my way up to that.

After I make polite chit chat and say good morning, I head back to my cave-house.  
“Hello Kayla” I say as I see her just laying and being lazy. She stretches slow like a cat, half getting up, then falls back into the covers. “Stiff this morning?” I tease.  
“mmm. Fun though.” She sleepy smiles. I chuckle agreement.  
“I’m going to do some yoga today in the bathing building. Do you want to come and work out some of the kinks with me?”  
“You know yoga?” her eyes open.  
“I know what I did each day at the Breath with Me Yoga Centre. C’mon. I’m not a yogi, but it will feel good to stretch.”  
She nods. “And it’s warm in the bathing building.”  
“And it’s warm in the bathing building.”

We put on our lightest tunics and leggings and cover up with heavy tunics. The building is just down the way, but the bitter cold gets in everywhere. We don’t have any yoga mats so we stop at the tanner’s house and ask for the roughest skins he has. We lay them down on the floor at the back of the pool room and begin to stretch. There are males and humans lounging around in the water, with some mothers doing their best to scrub children clean. Kayla and I begin to do some warm-up stretches and eyes begin to turn to us.  
“Hey, are you guys going to do yoga?” calls Claire  
“Yes, Brit-nee is going to lead a session. Come and join in.”  
“Wait a second”, I say low to Kayla, “I’m not an instructor. I’m just doing what I know.”  
“I don’t care.” Claire says as she approaches, dripping from the water. “I’m happy to do something new and I used to love going to yoga. Don’t worry. No one here is going to rat you out to the yoga police.” I smile and nod in agreement. Two other females scurry off to place their children with their fathers or friends and return with smiles. It seems a lot of people were looking for something new to do.

I begin again with the opening stretches and deep breathing. Then we start to move in small positions. I breath deep and enjoy the stretching. It feels good to get back to what I used to do. I never had time let alone privacy in the brothel and this is bringing back good vibes. This is just what I needed today and I can feel the twitching fading a bit.  
I’m getting hot and sweaty so I take off my tunic and continue in my bra-wrap. Kayla follows too and with the rest of the women already in their bathing suits, I up the positions to a few more challenging. About this time I realize that all sound has stopped in the building except for the deep breathing of us women and a few squeaks of children. I stand up and turn to the water. Two males there are frozen in place. One has a surprised look, one seems frozen mid-sentence. Another male is just chill’n on the side wall.  
“They want to know what are you doing?” the chill male calls out.  
“It’s called Yoga. It’s a form of exercise back home.” I call back.  
“What is exercise?”  
What is exercise? Well of course, there’s no need to stay in shape here, when there is always work or hunting to be done. “It’s movements to keep people healthy. These movements stretch the muscles and calm the mind.”  
“I don’t think they are calming Kaylar’s and Ereven’s minds.” He banters.  
Claire calls to her mate. “Ereven, you are supposed to be playing in the water with the kits, not watching us.”  
“I can do both”. That makes her smirk.  
Kaylar still doesn’t say anything. A low giggle comes from someone.  
I hike up by bra-wrap and leggings. I’m fine if they want to enjoy the show and I continue to lead the group. I need this today so I’m not going to let a few dumbfounded eyes distract me. I shrug and smile low as I realize what it must look like from their perspective. I toss in a few more moves, focusing on the bending abilities of the human female body.


	5. Kayla

The next day I find Brit in the pool trying to do laps. It’s not quite big enough and with all the moms and children in the way, and it looks a bit futile.  
“Hey Brit. How’s the swimming going?” like I couldn’t notice.  
“About as good as a salmon swimming upstream.” She spits out water, “I could use the rhythm though of doing just mindless laps in the pool. This and jogging. It calms me.”  
“Well how about we go jogging then. I hate to run but I’ll very quickly, walk with you.”  
“I’m not going running out in the great-wide-open where any kind of animal can hunt you down. Besides, I’m pretty sure we wouldn’t be allowed to go by ourselves anyways.  
“You’re probably right, but still, it would be nice.”  
A beat passes  
You can see the light bulb go off in Brit’s head. “What if you and I made a running track? Then we would be able to stay close and not be in danger"  
“… and not be in danger” I finish the sentence at the same time.  
Our eyes lock in agreement and realization.  
“Pass me my fur towel. Let’s get dressed and see if we can find a space up top.”

Brit dries her hair as best she can and we both get dressed in all our layers of furs. Damn it’s cold here. We start to head to the elevator to take us up top to the wide open. The counter balance is in place, so that means we will be going topside by ourselves. I can see the sun shining so we make the decision to continue. Just as we come up to the landing, Kaylar raises a hand in greeting.  
“Hello Brit-nee. Hello Kayla. Where are you going?” He’s such a sweet guy.  
“We are going up top to check out the lay of the land. We want to make a running track.”  
He lifts an eyebrow. “What are you tracking up there that is running?   
“No, we are going to make a circle.”  
“I am a good hunter and tracker” he states, not hearing our words. “I should go with you.”  
“No, it’s just a circle in the snow…” Brit tries to explain.   
“Here comes Harrec to take my place as the look out. I will go with you to keep you safe and help you track.”  
We both just look at each other and smile. I’m nodding my head in a ‘No’ movement.   
“Sure Kaylar, come along with us. We could use a big male with us up top.”  
I give Brit the 'What? What?' face. 

Kaylar, Brit and myself walk together to start making a path. It’s quick to be seen that Kaylar is much more agile in the snow and can cut a clean path, so he goes first, with Brit and I walking side by side to widen the space to two across. We drag our feet to make a deep line in the snow, with Brit directing Kaylar not to turn just yet.  
“This is just a circle to nowhere. This is what you want to make?”  
“Yes. This is called a running track. I want to go for a run sometimes as it makes me feel better afterwards.” Brit explains, again.  
“But where are you running to? Are you hunting out here? Females should not hunt. It is not safe.”  
I smile. “Kaylar, back home this is a form of exercise. The point is not to go anywhere but to enjoy the movement.  
“Ah yes. Exercising. This is like your sex-stretching from before.”  
“WHAT!? What the hell are you talking about? Shut up about that.” I say before I think.  
Brit stops and grabs my shoulder and looks to Kaylar. “Yes. What are YOU taking about Kaylar?”  
“In the bathing building you were doing the sex-stretching with the other females. It was very pleasant.” He turns to me “I can’t wait to see how they have improved your health in the furs”  
“Oh my god” I mumble and drop my face into my tunic collar, closing my eyes.  
“AH HAA!” comes Brit. “It’s you two. Kayla, I knew you were sneaking out at night but I didn’t know it was this handsome male.  
Kaylar straightens up a bit. “Yes. Kayla and I have been in the furs together. We have been having much pleasures…  
“SHUT UP KAYLAR. If you want any further fur pleasures, stop talking RIGHT NOW!!”  
Kaylar shrugs with a bit of surprise motioning his hands palms up, as if to ask what’s wrong with what I said?  
Brit chimes in, gently and I die a thousand deaths. “Humans are more private about well, their privates and their private times Kaylar. Kayla doesn’t want everyone to know about you two.  
“But what is wrong with our fur pleasures? We know and ter-Ekh knows and now you know…”  
“OH MY GAWWWWDD. STOP STOP TALKING!!!!” I can’t make the tunic collar deep enough.  
Brit turns to me. “Ho-lee shit Kayla.” She laughs in great surprise. “You are a nasty thing. No wonder you’re tired in the morning. A little ménage-a-tois takes a lot of energy.  
“What’s a mengee-ta-wah?”  
“I’m not doing a ménage-a-tois. I’m just dating Kaylar and ter-Ekh.”  
“What’s a mengee-ta-wah?”  
“Well high five girlfriend. More power to ya’.”   
We pat hands and then she heads off. I glance at Kaylar and roll my eyes, a small grunt in frustration.  
“What’s a mengee-ta-wah?” he calls from behind us, catching up.


	6. Brittany

After a few days, the running track is looking pretty good. Kayla asked Kaylar to run around it a few times to pack the snow down as even as he could, which he did, though still not accepting the concept.  
“Humans are funny-running in circles.”  
Word gets out that we have created a running track and again, a few of the women join in. Tiffany takes a break from gardening and preggos Kate and Megan come along too, trying to wake the babies to get them out. Erin and Nicole also love the idea and begin very peppy, with Kayla joining them. I do my stretches, deep breaths and then tune everything out. I need to calm me.

After a few days, it turns out that there are multiple groups of women who take advantage of the track. Former high school track and fielders, cheerleaders, I think I saw a snowcat at one point, and Moms and Dads bringing their kits to run themselves tired-I can relate. I’m starting to not sleep very much. My mind is churning up and is having a hard time turning off or staying off so that I can rest. I end up staying up later and later just staring at the ceiling or into the fire embers. These are the times that I recall my sister back home. I miss her and can’t hear what she sounds like anymore and I bet she is probably so sad that I disappeared and will never know what happened and I feel so guilty about that I try to send out a mental message to her but I feel the tears coming on and I think how stupid is that…. NO. I don’t want to go down that hole again and again. I sigh in frustration then I sit up and decide to go for a run.

It’s night time and Croatoan is quiet. I’ve dressed in my heaviest furs and borrowed a few from Kayla too. She’s got other ways to stay warm and will not using them tonight. You go girl i think. I head towards the elevator and see the hunter stationed as look out. It’s the chill male from the pool.  
“Hello Brit-nee. What are you doing this late at night?” His voice is deep and clear.  
“You know my name? I don’t know yours.”  
“I know your name from the stretching and all the hunter talk about the stretching.” He smiles and his very white teeth beam in the dark shadows caused by the small fire. “I’m ter-Ekh by the way.”  
“I’m going to go for a run up top. I’m not tired yet so I thought it might help me sleep.”  
“Hmm,” his face giving concern. “It is not safe for humans to go up top especially by themselves and especially at night.”  
I’m not going to be stopped. “Well ter-Ekh, I really need to go for a run. Is it possible for you to join me? You don’t have to run but you could stay be the edge and keep an eye on me.” Always sugar and not vinegar.  
He ponders this for a blink and then smiles again. “I don’t think anyone will need to go up tonight, and yes, I can stay near the al-vator in case I am needed.

We get to the top of the elevator and I catch my breath as I look out around me.  
“Is there something wrong Britt-nee? Do you see something?” he says low in case it is overheard and is alert all at once.  
“No. No. This is the most perfect sight I have seen in a very, very long time. This is my second favourite kind of sky. No moon, no wind, just white, still snow and all the millions and millions of stars, silent.” I finish the sentence in a whisper in case I startle it with my loud voice.  
“I thought humans hated the snow” he pokes.  
“Yes I agree it can get depressing just having snow and cold all the time. But I grew up in a northern climate and I loved being out in the snow and especially at night. This is one of those nights.”  
I begin to stretch and get ready to run.  
ter-Ekh crosses his arms in a friendly manner. “This is your second favourite sky. What is your first favourite?”  
“Oh. Just like this but then with silent, big snowflakes falling ever so slowly. I love having them fall on my face and covering all the mistakes under the whiteness. Everything is pure again and it gives hope that things can re-start.” I close my eyes, outstretch my arms and turn my face to the sky. “Yes, I’m happy at the thought of a re-start.”  
“That is a lot for a sky to give. Do you have other favourite skys?”  
“Well yes.” I say and I go back to stretching. “Number three is the one similar to tonight, but with a moon. Yours is extra special since you have two moons. That is very exotic to me. There’s the sunny, bright sky where all the snow glares so bright that you can strip off some of your furs, it seems so warm. That one is number four.”  
“How about the sky when it is blowing snow?”  
“Oh that is defiantly number five since my sister and I would play ‘Lost in the Blizzard’ and pretend we were stranded and we would build a snow fort for shelter and pretend to hunt food.”  
I begin to walk on the track. Ter-Ekh joins me at my side.  
“That does not sound like a happy sky-you could be in danger.”  
“It’s pretend. We would do in in our back yard.”  
“Hmm. Well I guess it is good to practice hunting skills.”  
“My last sky is big, bright blue with no clouds. The air is the most fresh and clean then.” I keep taking a few steps and then begin to quicken my pace, getting ready to run.  
“Are you going to join me then?” I ask jogging backwards facing ter-Ekh.  
“Oh. No. I didn’t notice that I have wandered out here. You run in circles and I will stay here and keep watch. If you need anything, just call out.”  
I smile and give a little wave as I turn around. I close my eyes to focus on the sound of the squeaking snow and my breath steaming in the still air. The rhythm of the jog beings to calm me immediately, and I smile at the comfort. I might just get a night’s sleep after all.


	7. ter-Ekh

I watch the human run away, into her second favourite night. Brit-nee’s steps crunch and fade into the darkness. I drift in thought, thinking of all the different skys I like and then startle myself back into the moment. I’m here to keep lookout. I shake my head and smile at myself, and sit down near the al-vator to wait for the human. Female. Brit-nee.

Again, I find myself staring at nothing in particular and Kaylar’s face pops up. I think the human is nice. Female! Brit-nee!! Ugh. Why can’t I remember to say her name??!! I re-settle myself. Brit-nee is nice and has big teats and she likes the outdoors and she like to be active and she has big teats. Those are all good things in a mate. And she knows what she wants. She was not going to let me stop her from coming up here tonight. That is a very good thing for a mate. Kaylar needs someone to tell him what to do sometimes. Well, maybe more than sometimes. He can be a bit wearing on hunts, missing obvious signs of tracking and sometimes missing the target with his spear throws. Never mind though, he is an eager learner and is still a bit young. I will continue to help him and he will be a good mate.

“Hmm.” 

Could that be Brit-nee? Huh. Let’s think about that for a bit. Is Brit-nee too hard for Kaylar maybe? He needs a strong mate, but is Brit-nee a bit too much for him? She is certainly a leader amongst the females. You can see it when they seek her opinion and just naturally gather near her when she has an idea. The sex-stretching and the circle running has proven that. Sometimes it is hard to be the leader all the time. It can be tiring too, always the one to make the decisions whether you want to or not. People just know that you will make the decisions and that is that. It would be nice to have someone to help you, maybe tell you that you are doing the right thing or even the wrong thing. I see that with Vektal and Shorshie. She is human but she helps him with much of the decision making. I let out a sigh of breath and think, I’m glad I am not Vektal.

“Hmm.”

Now I don’t know if Kaylar could be a good mate to Brit-nee. I don’t think he could help her being a leader. He would need to be led by her as well and then she would not have a mate to help her in that. Kaylar is very much a plain hunter and wouldn’t know that he is smaller than her in these things. He would keep her safe and feed her-with my help-and keep her happy in the furs, but she still would be by herself in her mind. And then there is Resonance. Kaylar is very strong in that. He wants Resonance and if Brit-nee resonates to another…

“No, I know that will hurt him very much. Yes,” I decide, “very, very much”

“Who are you talking to?” says a voice from the dark.  
I quickly stand up and focus on the human coming towards me. Female. Brit...  
She has bounced up to me, who stands in the snow, talking to himself like a fool. She is out of breath but her face is all smiles. She has tied her tunic around her waist and her lighter tunic shows her arms and neck, glistening with sweat. She must have been running hard.  
“You said ‘very, very much.’ Who were you talking to?”  
“I was just passing the time until you returned. This is a late lookout time and sometimes I just talk to myself to stay awake.” I groan inside my head at such a sorry excuse. ter-Ekh, you cannot think of anything better than ‘I need to stay awake?’  
“Oh. Of course. I’m sorry I have kept you up. I didn’t realize that.” Her shoulders slump a bit and you can see understanding on her face. She is sorry that she has kept me up.  
“No.” I smile. “It’s part of being a hunter. I have no mate so I am a good choice to keep lookout. It was a good idea to come up here at night. I would not have thought of it.”  
The hurt fades from her face.  
We step onto to the al-vator and I turn the wheel to take us down.  
“Did you have a good circle running? You are very sweaty.”  
“Yes. Didn’t you see me, I ran past you twice?” She grabs her long hair in one hand lifting it up and fans her neck with the other. “It was a very nice run in the quiet. It made me very happy. Oh no. Do I smell bad? I’m sorry if you can smell me.” She takes a step back.  
I give a little smirk. “I am a hunter who goes on many days with no washing or cleaning. No. You do not smell bad to me.”   
Actually, I like your smell very much.  
Stop thinking about what she smells like.  
“Actually, I like your smell very much”   
That got her attention. She looks at me with a sideways glance. “You do, do ya??”  
“Yes.” I take a step towards the edge of the floor as we are on the ground now, my attention on tying the rope. “I would like to smell um, all, your, smells.” Smell all your smells??!!!  
I look up and am a bit startled that she has closed the space between us.  
“Would you now?” Her hand is on my arm and my eyes have locked themselves there on their own. I regroup and I just stare deep into her eyes, in the best strong way I know females like.  
“What would Kayla think of you and I doing all this smelling of each other?  
That snaps me awake.  
“Yes I know all about you and Kayla and Kaylar.”  
“It is not a Pleasure Mating. Kayla says we are ‘dating’ not mating, though we have mated a bit.”  
Brit-nee’s face beams up and her whole face a ‘knowing’ smile as she chuckles to herself. “Mmm. Yes dating not mating. That makes sense.”  
We walk towards the village a few steps. I’m searching my mind for something to say.  
“Well, what if we were Pleasure Dates not Mates? We do mating but we do not do anything that mates do, sorta speak.”  
I’m not sure what she is saying. I tilt my head in question.  
“I’m saying, we give each other pleasures in the furs but no mate stuff.” She counts on her fingers “No gifts, no extra meat givings, no making a fluffy fur bed, no cuddling, no possessive ‘mine’ attitudes and definitely no PDA.”  
I squint my eyes trying to understand what she is saying.  
“No public displays of affection. We like each other but we don’t hold hands and make goofy eyes at each other when we are in public. What we do is private.”  
“Ah. We give each other pleasures in the furs, not pleasures out of the furs.”  
“Well, we aren’t mean to each other but yes that’s the idea. And we can give others pleasures too.”  
That makes me choke a little and I a-hem.  
I step closer to her to tower over her, inhale deeply her sweaty smell, and say in my deepest whisper, “Yes, I would like to give you many pleasures Brit-nee.”  
She just winks at me with a big smile on her face. Then she sidesteps me and walks away, confidence in her spine. “As long as it’s okay with Kayla, I’m good to go. I’ll let you know”  
I smile and watch her walk away. Then I realize, “When are you going to let me know? Brit-nee,” I call out in a loud whisper, “when are you going to let me know?”  
She just turns and keeps walking, backwards, with a big shrug of her arms and a questioning look on her smirking face.  
“Hmm”  
I think and sit back down to continue my lookout time.


	8. Kayla

I’m getting used to being a lazy Pants in the morning. Pants are nice. They are good friends to Legs since they keep Legs warm. Pants are somewhat optional each night depending on who I’m sharing the night with, and since I don’t have pants on this particular morning, I hit the snooze button for just five more minutes.  
Then I smell the terrible odor of the shrimp tea and I open one eye.  
“Good mornnn-inngg.” Brit sing-songs a bit too loud.  
“Iatemerningmeople.” I mumble into my blanket.  
“Yes, but you love morning people bringing you hot, peppy tea.”  
I do so I get up---ish. “Thanks Brit. Ooo the cup is warm.” And I wrap my hands around it.  
“This seems like the only time we really see each other these days. I’m missing our once-in-a-while-late-night-chick-chats.” She says, as she takes a seat holding her cup of tea too.  
I duck my head pretending to blow on the tea to cool it.  
“Hey I’m not judging. I’m just wanting to get some details from you and I keep missing my chance.”  
“Well, what do you want to know? Things about Kaylar or ter-Ekh?”  
“Both. All.”  
“Well, nice girls do not kiss and then make out and then have a bit of oral and then tell.” I then dip my face and slurp real loud and long from the edge of the cup, hiding a giggle.  
“Oh Please. We both know you are a sassy girl in a nice package, so fess up.” She’s got me there. “Well… okay” and resettle more comfortably as I decide to spill the tea. “Kaylar and I, well, yes Kaylar.   
I actually didn’t notice him so much until ter-Ekh introduced us.”  
“ter-Ekh?”  
“Yes. Well ter-ekh and I were well talking one night during his lookout shift and at some point he sweet talked me into an intense make-out session.”  
“Oh yes. ter-Ekh certainly has a sweet talkn’ tongue. Go on.”  
“Well some other day, I’m looking for some fuel pucks because you know, it’s darn bleeping cold here all the time and I thought we could use some to store in here. And ter-Ekh and Kaylar come up to me and ask me what I’m doing and blah blah, and ter-Ekh offers Kaylar to help since he has to go and do some other fake thingy, so he leaves.”   
“Ah. Wing Man.”  
“Yea. No kidding. I completely saw through it, but I truly don’t think Kaylar knew it was a setup.”   
“Awwwh.”   
“I know. He’s such a sweetheart right?”  
“Right  
“I know, Right???? He’s so eager to be helpful and doesn’t expect praise but he just lights up when he does get acknowledgment. Poor guy. I don’t think anyone has really given him a lot of focus.” I pause to take a sip of tea.  
“So, ter-Ekh leaves and it’s just Kaylar and he is now helping me look for the fuel pucks and he showed me where they were and then we saw that the amount was low so I decided we should go get more and he said he would go with me and then he saw me struggling with my snowshoes so he helped me get them on and then we were out looking for the fuel and I got cold so he gave me one of his capes and then I thought he would get cold so we moved a little closer and he put his arm around me and then, well, then there are some areas that weren’t covered by any furs but were warm just the same.” That came out a bit too fast.  
“Nawse. And how was Kaylar while you were trying to stay warm.”  
“Oh well for a virgin, he’s got some moves. In fact I’m not sure if he is all that virginal when I think of it.”  
“Hmmm. I bet that’ ter-Ekh’s influence. “   
“Yes,” I reflect thoughtfully, “-but I think it’s more. Kaylar wants Resonance. He’s waited three times and three times he’s struck out. I think he feels this is his last hope of having a mate and sex and kits.   
“Wait a minute. I thought you said he had moves…”  
“Yes I know. People can do other things and still not have sex.”  
“You sound like the greatest fictional high school counselor advocating for abstinence but not all abstinence is the same.”  
I swat her arm and we both laugh.  
“No, Kaylar is absolutely waiting for Resonance to have sex. You might think it’s a noble statement, but I think it’s more about losing out again.”  
Brit tilts her head in question.  
“Think about it. What if he is with someone and then they Resonate to someone else. That would break him. I truly think that would just shatter him completely.”  
“Awww. He is a sweetheart”, she said more quietly and more sincere.

There’s a long pause and we both contemplate the realization. That was the first time I had said that out loud. Am I playing with fire here?

Brit breaks the lull. “So then. You and ter-Ekh. Where are you on that?”  
“Oh well. Kaylar knows…you remember” I roll my eyes a bit again with embarrassment.  
“Hmm Umm” she nods and smirks, remembering too.  
“Kaylar knows that ter-Ekh and I made out and he’s totally fine with it.”  
“Really?”  
“Yah. It’s their thing. None of them seem bothered too much that they all can swap girlfriends.”  
“I guess it’s because there used to be so few women?”  
“Probably and there’s the Resonance thing. Once that kicks in or the Pleasure Mate thing is announced, it’s hands off and everyone just stays friends and it’s all good. No secrets.”  
“Right. The Pleasure Mate thing.”

Again there’s a pause as we both purposely sip our tea. 

Brit looks down at her cup with a sly smile, “Would you be okay then if ter-Ekh and I um, dated a bit?  
Now it’s my turn to needle Brit. “Ohh? When did this happen?”  
“Nothing’s happened. I said I would talk to you first and see where you are before I agreed to anything.”  
I give a big smile. “Of course not Brit. I’m good. ter-Ekh’s nice and funny and ballsy..” I snort-. “You might be a good match for him.” I nod in approval of my own approval.  
“Are you sure? I really don’t want to mess this up,” She waves her hands back and forth indicating us. “I need us to be good.” Then there’s a pause and I can tell not a good one. “Need”  
I put the tea down giving her all my attention. “Is there something wrong Brit? This seems more than just a girlfriend-boyfriend-girlfriend talk.”  
Brit wells up a bit. She’s looks so tired that her emotions are raw. I know she hasn’t been sleeping much. Now I’m really concerned. I reach out to take her arm.  
“Oh my god Brit what is it?! You can tell me. It’s going to be okay.”  
“No…” she says so very quietly and looks down. “I don’t think it will be for a while.”  
She looks up and sniffs her nose. Her tears right on the edge of cresting her eyes.  
“I’m not upset about being here. On Not-Hoth. Actually I like it a bit but this is not what we studied for.”   
I sigh in agreement remembering all the farming tutorials. “Yes. It’s been yet another adjustment. No Earth, aliens, more aliens…I’m feeling it too but the Sa-kuhi are…”  
“It’s not the tribe or the snow of the lack of toilets or chocolate. Risda III was a modern planet with robots and flying cars and proper medical treatments.”  
Medical treatments? I think as I suck in my breath.  
“I’m Bipolar. Actually Bipolar II.”  
“There are different kinds of BiPolar?”  
She snorts and wryly laughs, “Yea like one just isn’t fun enough. Mine is a slow burn with my ups and downs taking longer to happen. More like waves of high and low instead of straight up and down one minute to the next.  
“And what can you do to fix this?”  
“Well nothing can ‘fix’ it but sometimes it can be managed. Back in the brothel days, I could trade, ya’ know, ‘favours’,” she mimes giving a hand job, “for medications and going to Risda was going to be sooo much easier.” She closes her eyes and looks to the ceiling, letting out a big sigh of relief as if remembering the solution to her problem. She takes a pause and then comes back to this moment. In front of me. Her confessor. “I’m starting to fall.”  
“Holy shit Brittney.”, is all I can say.  
Brittney sighs again and looks down, shamefully hiding her face.   
“No no”, I rush, “don’t lose hope. There’s got to be a solution. What about the cootie? Is that helping?”  
“I think it has gotten me this far.” Her tears have started to fall.   
“What about Maylak? Have you seen her yet?”  
“No! I’m not going around and telling everyone about this.” She whispers adamantly through a choked throat. “I’m only telling you…’cause….’cause…” and now she really breaks down.   
“You’re not telling everyone you're just telling Maylak and now that I’m saying this out loud of course you’re telling everyone. No secrets in Croatoan.”  
“That and I can’t handle the guilt of everyone knowing and trying to help the mental case”  
I pull her in for a hug. A big tight one. “Shush shush. We’re going to figure this out. Yes?” and I pull away to look into her face. Brit reluctantly nods a little. “Okay.” I state. “Okay” I nod in agreement. “Okay” I nod in encouragement. “What can we do? How can I help?”  
“Just don’t let me be stupid. Sometimes I just react and don't think things through and I can’t stand the guilt of being mean or an idiot and then realizing later what I’ve done.” She grunts in frustration.  
“Yes. Yes absolutely. I won’t tell anyone and I won’t let you be stupid. Got it.”   
She smiles a little.  
“See? That wasn’t so bad? We can get through this? I can help you. I’ll be here for you.”  
Brit wipes her face and dries it with the back of her hand.   
“You know what I could use, is some of that sleepy time tea. I think a good night of sleep would help. A LOT!”


	9. Brittany

“I’ll get you sleepy time tea leaves today”, Kayla offers. “A couple of nights of good sleep and you’ll feel better for sure. One time, I took a bunch of caffeine pills to get through final exams. I was a wreck writing them, all antsy and shaky, but when it was all over, I slept for 3 days straight and felt like a million bucks when I woke up.”  
I’ll need more than three days, but I’ll take what I can get.  
“How does ter-Ekh fit into all this? Does he know?”  
“No. Not at all and there’s no reason to. I’m going to be fine,…”  
“With my help”  
“…with your help and then there’s no need to tell anybody anything. No, ter-Ekh is a good distraction.” Take my mind off of my mind.  
“ter-Ekh can definitely be a distraction” Kayla smirks to me as she gets up and dashes to her clothes.   
“Oh yea?”, I perk up, “Want to give me any hints? Any advice? “  
Kayla shivers while rushing up her leggings, “ He’s a boob man. And a man man.”  
“A man man?”  
“Ya know. Likes to be in charge, be the leader in ALL things.”  
“Ahhhh. Good to know. Good tips.” I nod in appreciation and file that little nugget of information away for later.  
“I’m going to the breakfast fire to get some breakfast porridge. Coming?” Kayla straightens up.  
“Yes. Might as well. I’m not too hungry but I guess it’s time to get the day going.”

*****************************

I’m sitting with the other women sewing like the mad fool that I really am, hiding in plain sight. The others are making baby clothes, satchels maybe a cape or two, I’m not really paying attention to their crafts. I’m focused on making a sleeping bag. 

I’m thinking maybe I’m not warm enough at night and so that’s why I’m not staying asleep, or falling asleep or being sleepy. I mean, I do know why I’m not sleeping, but I can certainly try to be warmer and combine that with the sleepy tea that Kayla brought me and I might get to have a good nap. None of this will help the buzzing in my ears though. It’s a constant white noise that starts off very faint and far away. Like the noise of a stadium of sports fans ‘awwwhhh’ing from far away and then moving ever so closer and closer to me. That’s the trick, to avoid having the crowds find me and yell so loud that I can’t hear anything but them. It’s hard to have your own thoughts with so many voices shouting and roaring at you all at once. Only the medication helped turn the volume down. That and sleep so I’m making a....

“Are you making a sleeping bag?”, Josie says a little too enthusiastically.  
Oh, you’ve noticed what I’m making? “Yea I need to keep my feet and head warmer at night and my burrito-wrap technique doesn’t always make it through to the morning. A hood and covered feet might do the trick.”  
“Why didn’t anyone think of that before?” she half says to herself.  
“What didn’t anyone think of what before?” asks Kate.  
“Brit’s making a sleeping bag.”  
“Ah.” Kate says with a sigh of frustrated realization. “Of course. A sleeping bag. That is a great idea.  
“I’m just making a sleeping bag, not getting NSYNC back together…”  
Kate cuts me off, “I should have thought of that a long time ago. I thought a tunic-hoodie, booties and mittens were a great combination but duh, sleeping bag. Perfect.” Kate immediately puts down her sewing and butt scoots over to my space. I feel reluctant to show her my great discovery, but I lift it up to her and then notice everyone else trying to get a good look too, so hand it to Kate and she in turn, passes it to Josie and on and on it goes around the circle.  
“It’s not that hard. I’m just sewing two blankets-furs-together down one side, across the bottom and halfway up the other side. I have to be able to have a foot stick out sometimes or I begin to feel a bit claustrophobic.  
“Me too!!”   
“Me three!!”  
See, I say to myself, not weird!  
“Well, after that I plan on attaching a hood to the top so that I can pull the flaps down but still have my nose and mouth visible. Instant sleeping bag.”  
“How did you know how to sew that?” Megan asks, inspecting my seams  
“I’m a theatre graduate and props and costume making are required subjects. I just thought of what I needed to fix my problem and well, Bob’s your Uncle.” There’s a low giggle from some in the circle.  
With determination, Josie hands her sewing project off to Kate. “Start ripping out these stitches. I’m going to Kashren to get more leather and furs.”  
“Help me up. I’m going too” says way too preggers Kate, trying to get momentum to get off her seat.  
“Stop trying Kate, I’ll bring some back for you too.” Josie assures. Three other hands go up. “Okay, I’ll bring enough for all of us.” and she heads off to the leather maker’s house.  
At that, everyone in the circle is taking out stitches and swapping stories of camping and hiking trips.

The rest of the afternoon is a good old quilting bea, if ever I knew what one was like. I stand up at the beginning and demonstrate to everyone my process of getting the furs and leather to co-operate. Overlapping the edges just a bit to reduce holes to let in the cold air, blanket stitching the whole edge to reduce tattering. Soon enough everyone strides into a rhythm and my PowerPoint presentation ends.   
Then the twenty questions begin.  
“Theatre major huh? Did you ever make it as an actress?” Megan asks sincerely.  
“Well, I was on a few TV shows.”  
“Oh yea??!!” Everyone’s face perks up at that.  
“Yes, I was ‘woman with purse’ or ‘woman in red shirt on her phone’ for a long time. I was just getting a few speaking lines though when I went back to my first passion.  
“Yoga?  
“No”  
“Running?”  
“No.”  
“But you’re so good at both of those things?”  
“Thanks but no. Stage acting. I love the energy of a live audience.”  
And with that all the questions come at me quick.   
Did you ever meet anyone famous? Wayne Brady  
Who was the biggest jerk? Nicki Minaj  
Who was the nicest? Joe Manganiello  
Did you ever have to kiss someone on camera? Joe Manganiello  
This goes on for a few until I turn it around on them.  
Where did you grow up? Go to school? Who was your first boyfriend? What food do you miss the most? And soon enough everyone is talking all over each other all at once, and I’m forgotten in the mix-Happy once again to be the mad fool, hiding in plain sight.

Our chick-chat goes along for the afternoon with at least three sleeping bags finished, including mine. I’m about to get up and go to my house to try it out with the tea, when there’s a commotion coming from the elevator area. A young son to someone announces the Hunters are back. This does get everyone off their feet and walk a bit faster towards the path to up top. I see Kayla for the first time all afternoon, and she is making a direct bee line for Kaylar who is all covered in furs and carrying a fresh kill. She makes it quite fast all the way up to his face and then stops short. She goes in for a big hug instead of a probably hot kiss. Good choice I think.  
“Kaylar and Kayla are good together” says a deep voice behind me. I jump a little. I know that voice.  
“Yes, I think so. It seems they are both happy to see each other anyways?” I don’t turn around but keep watching the welcoming to the returning hunters.  
“I told Kaylar to go and help Kayla with gathering fire chips and now they seem good for each other. They are in balance with each other”  
“Hmmm. Yes. You did a good job Cupid.”  
A hand goes on my shoulder to turn me around a bit. “No, it’s ter-Ekh”.  
I giggle inwardly. “Yes right. ter-Ekh. Hey, who’s that woman with the group?”   
“Ah. That is Anursh. She has come from IceHome along with two hunters and mates from there. The females are with kits and wanted to be here with Maylak when they give birth and Anursh came with them on the trip.  
Anursh I nod. She’s Human but I wonder what the origin of that name is? “Why would she come? Is she pregnant too?”  
“No. She is not mated.” He says, not taking his eyes off of her, “She says she knows hoo-man healing and wanted to be with the females on the long trip in case something went wrong.  
I turn to meet him now and he is standing while holding a huge animal flank, like that’s what everybody does on Not-Hoth, so no biggie.  
“Huh. You seem to know a lot about Anursh and she just got here” I smile.  
Still not looking at me, “Yes. I like meeting new people as I am not shy like Zennek or grumpy like Haeden. I was up top meeting the hunters as they returned from their Longtime, so I got to speak with Anursh.”  
Well, that’s a lot to get out of someone from just an elevator ride down but okay he’s right. People do like to tell themselves to ter-Ekh. He does know all about my skies after all.   
“What’s a ‘Longtime’?”  
He raises his hand greeting Kaylar above the crowd, bending down a bit towards me as if I cannot hear what he is saying, “That is when Hunters go for many days at a time to the outer trails and re-stock the hunter caves, check on the cashes and bring home larger kills for storage. Kaylar has been gone for two hands of days now. Did you not notice?"  
Of course I did not notice because I've been too caught up in my own head to be paying proper attention to my best friend. I knew he was out hunting but the days are blurring together a bit without rest in between to break them up. I'm such an idiot to be spilling my stupid brain problems with Kayla and she probably needed someone to talk to about missing Kaylar. Fuck. I'm such a shit and a terrible friend.   
"There will be a gathering tonight to welcome them home," I snap out of my head as ter-Ekh speaks, "but maybe a bit more since we have new families too.” He looks down to me, “You can be there.” Then he looks back towards the newcomers with a big grin. “And you can meet Anursh as well.”   
Of course I can.


	10. Chapter 10-Brittany

Chapter 10-Brittany  
It seems that ter-Ekh is right and that there is going to be a shindig tonight. Already, groups or people are moving off to prepare food and the fires and make the sleeping arrangements for the newly arrived mated pairs. I head back to my hut to look for my bowl, cup and utensils. The best way to look for something is to tidy up, so I fold furs, clean the fire pit and look in bags and on the high self that has been cut into the rock face and stand on one of the two stairs that lead up to the ledge, to get a better view into the back corner-not a lot of light reaches there. I spot them and go to give myself a self high five, but then realize I have nothing to bring to the communal party. Nothing-not food, not fuel pucks no gifts to offer the newcomers-zip. What have I been doing all this time? I’ve been wasting my time running and yoga-ing and wha wha wha poor me I can’t sleep BS. Fuck. I pause. Fuck again. The frustration spikes and I kick the pile of furs I just folded. Fuck. Tears spring to my eyes and I look at the ceiling to will them back into my tear ducts and not down my face. Well, it can’t be helped now, it’s too late. I give my head a shake, take a deep breath in and out and head out to the fire pit area. I can fake this. This will be easy right? Yes, it will be easy. I’ll just blend in for a bit and then sneak back here so no one will notice.

Things have progressed quite a bit while I was at my hut. How long was I gone for? The food and sah sah is flowing between mated pairs, kits, hunters and our new arrivals. I spot ter-Ekh right away. He and Anursh are sitting cozy in the circle, both with a bowl of stew. He is obviously naming all the people around the fire to her as he gestures with his hand. I can almost hear him ‘…and this is Stacey who is cooking and that is her mate Pashove, and that is Salukh and you have already met Vektal and Shorshie…’. I’m about to sit away from them and then I hear ter-Ekh, “Ah here is Brit-taw-nee. Come over here Brit-taw-nee and meet Anursh”. I put on a big smile through gritted teeth.  
“Hello Anursh, nice to get to meet you finally.”  
“Finally?”  
“Yes, ter-Ekh here was filling me in on what you two talked about earlier today”  
“Ahhh, it was a 1 minute elevator ride.” She turns to ter-Ekh “What did we talk about that was so interesting?”  
ter-Ekh straightens a little ” That you are Anursh and you came with the two pregnant females from IceHome and you have dark curly hair and a bright smile and that you are in very good health to make such a journey and….”  
“Wait a second. My name is not Anursh.”  
No? I perk up a bit  
“My name is Flordeliza and I am A NURSE. I am not Anursh.”  
My jaw drops a little and I giggle at Flordeliza. “O dear. I am so sorry. I thought your name was Anursh.”  
“Yea, so does everyone else. They keep saying that”. She gestures to the crowd gathered, “I didn’t know exactly whom everyone was referring to today. ‘Hello Anursh. Anursh, come with me to your hut. This fur is for Anursh…’ I just went with the flow of things, but now I get it.” We both look at each other and snort a giggle and a smile. “I swear, I didn’t know everyone thought my name was Anursh.”  
I touch her forearm and giggle too, shaking my head. ter-Ekh is just sitting there, with a big smile on his face but clearly not understanding what is so funny.  
“ter-Ekh, this is Flordeliza and she is A NURSE. Meaning she is a type of human healer. Being a nurse is a job that she does.  
His eyes go wider with understanding. He looks to me, “She is a healer.”. He looks to her, “You are a healer?” She nods her head, smiling. “Then we are extra lucky to have two in the village.” He says that last part a little too slick, as he looks directly into her face. She’s not buying it. What a jerk I think as I give a side-eye.  
“No I’m not a healer like Maylak. It’s not my khui that makes me a healer. I went to school and learned.” ter-Ekh squints his eyes a bit, really trying to process what’s being said.  
“A teacher showed her how to be a healer.” I say and there is instant understanding. He turns back to Flordeliza, “I too am a teacher. It is satisfying to help others do well.” Okay, maybe not a total jerk, but still..  
“You should teach us here. You know, some basic First Aid and things? The cootie takes care of most problems, but it would still be good to have some basic knowledge.”  
ter-Ekh jumps on that with complete authority. “Yes. That would be a good thing for all of us to be Anursh”  
“Well, I guess…well yes. I think that I would like to do that. It would make me feel useful and the information could be helpful too. Good idea Brittany. Thanks.” Flordeliza giggles a bit more and then you can see her face turn with a memory. “Ah” she quietly sighs. “If only that were my biggest problem-they don’t know my name.” I give her a supportive squeeze on her forearm. She looks to me and pats my hand “I didn’t even know how simple things were ya know, before we got all caught up here”  
“Well you know the song”, and I quietly sing “Yesterday. All my troubles seemed so far away….”   
She sings back to me, in a choked voice “Now it looks as if they’re here to stay”  
“Oh I believe…in….sorry ter-Ekh, that’s rude. I reach up and touch his bicep in apology. Oh yes. I am sorry I did not do that sooner. "That’s just a song from Earth. A very popular one”  
His face is very sober and he looks serious. “You can sing songs from Earth?”  
“Well, yes. Everyone knows songs and that one…”  
“You have a nice voice Brittney.” Is all Flordeliza can squeeze out in her choked voice. She is getting sadder by the moment. Oh dear. Now I’ve gone and made her sad. Idiot  
“What song is she singing?” comes Farli’s voice over ter-Ekh’s shoulder and I quickly brace myself.  
“She was singing a song of Earth and Flordeliza knew the song too.” ter-Ekh explains, not taking his eyes off me and still very serious.  
“I missed it. I love new songs and stories and paint and well, I like new things. Please sing again?”  
I’m about to back out, but I see a few more faces have turned our way, and Flordeliza is still holding my hand on her arm. I start.  
“Yesterday.  
“All my troubles seemed so far away.” The talking dies down quickly and I raise my voice a bit louder.   
“Now they look as if they’re here to stay.”  
“Oh I believe in yesterday”  
I look Flordeliza in the eyes, then move to Farli and ter-Ekh, then I gain a bit of confidence and look out to the gathered faces around the fire.  
“Suddenly, I’m not in the place I used to be.” A few smiles at that improv.  
“There’s some snowflakes falling over me." More smiles....  
"Oh yesterday came suddenly.  
Why, I, had to go I don’t know they wouldn’t say  
I did something wrong now I long for yester-day, ay ay ay   
Yesterday  
Life was such an easy game to play  
Now I live here where I hide away  
Oh I believe in yesterday  
Mm mm mm mm mm m m”  
The room is very still and quiet, but I can see all the glistening eyes reflecting the firelight. Some women have a few tears and smiles, a few hug their children a bit closer. All I can think is Oh shit, Oh shit. Oh shit. Think of something IDIOT!!!  
I stand up quite suddenly and with purpose. I sing out in a loud voice,  
“The phone rings in the middle of the night  
“My father yells ‘What you gonna do with your life’ ”  
Kira joins in, “Oh daddy dear, you know your still number one”. A few yeas and claps happen.  
“But girls just want to have fu-un”  
“Oh girls just wanna have fun….”  
I encourage everyone to sing along. It’s timid at first, but a few loud voices sing, off-key, and then more join in.   
“Oh girls just wanna have fun, They wanna. They wanna. Wanna have fun. Girls. Just wanna have fun…”  
Soon enough all the women are singing loudly with the sounds echoing a bit off the tall cavern walls. None of the men know what to do, but they too smile and try to clap along, making up the ‘No-Rhythm Section’.  
The end of the song never really comes as we all just repeat the ‘wanna have fun’ part over and over again. It just ends with voices fading out, replaced by clapping.  
I exhale a BIG breath. Way to go Brittney. Way to pull that one back out of the fire. Fuck, you’re an idiot. What the hell were you thinking singing for and that song, what a stupid sad song to sing..  
“Another song. Brit, another song. Please??” calls a voice from the far side of the room.  
Crap. Now this is turning into the Brittany Show. ter-Ekh leans down, touches my hair and speaks low into my ear with a deep, clear voice “It would make them happy. Sing a happy song.” And nods his head in encouragement, smiling. I start the first thing that pops into my head.  
“ter-Ekh! You help me do this one. “You put your left foot in, you put your left foot out…” I do the motions and make ter-Ekh follow along. “you put your left foot in and shake it all about.” Suddenly four women and their children jump up and start singing along. “you do the hokey-pokey, and you turn yourself around.” ter-ekh is totally into it and gives a bit of laser eyes to other males--Other males join in. Everyone is up and dancing, except the elder tribe members who laugh and clap along, and soon enough the kits are screaming the directions and jumping, like fun is about to burst from their bodies. Of course I improvise and everyone puts their horns and tails in and out and then the big climax with the whole body. For some reason jumping up and down is very popular. The whole room ends with clapping and joyful calling and laughing. I give a little thanks to Girl Guides for the tune.   
Finally, it seems I’m off the hook. Flordeliza gets up and head to get some sah sah, while family groups breakup and begin to head off to put kits to bed. I take this as my cue to sneak off before anyone notices my lack of bring something to the potluck. I make it to the shadows just as hokey-pokey signing begins again, but since it’s lead by some hunters, it’s pretty terrible, and I laugh and shake my head with a smile.  
I make it back to my hut and give a sigh of relief that no one saw me empty-handed. At least, no one said anything and I will take that as a win. I didn’t get a chance to eat and then I realize that I left my dishes and spoon at the fire. Crap. Now I don’t have anything to eat with and I roll my eyes in frustration at myself as I’ll have to go back out. I turn to leave and hear a scratch at my door covering.


End file.
